Like every woman in that occasion, when I was born, my mom (a twenty year-old girl) asked if her baby was a boy or a girl. Doctors just answered: "it doesn't matter! Your baby will soon die!"
I was born a girl.
Since that day, twenty four years ago, my mother promised herself to fight for her baby girl's life and teach her, every single day, that she has lots of issues in her life more important than having Spina Bifida. I think I learnt the lesson!

I have a low lesion (S1, S2). However, I made lots of surgeries on my feet and wore horrible orthopaedics boots for years. My colleagues at school named me "Hook Leg", and lots of times I thought life wasn't fair for me since the beginning...

My mother was never afraid about each surgery. She never took off the boots or gave me the pink shoes I dreamt about. She never talked to my parents' colleagues. Instead of this, she taught me to invest in myself, in doing sacrifices, in waiting, in believe in the future, she repeated me all the time: "You are a girl! And girls don't cry!"

Nowadays, I can walk, jump and run. I can dance when I go to the disco. I can buy nice pretty shoes. I have nice friends who like me for what I am. And now, I think it was hard, but it was fair...

I learnt to read and write at the age of four. At twelve, I wrote two books and became the youngest Portuguese writer. At thirteen I wrote another one. At eighteen, I went on a date with my (real) first boyfriend (who had never heard about Spina Bifida but was someone who didn't care about it!). At twenty-one I finished my degree in Psychology. Five months later I got my first job in a recognized institution, which supports children and teenagers with social and family needs.

I never allow anyone to show special preference to me, or discriminate against me because I have a handicap. It may seems like a stupidity and proud, but I like to think that everything I got was because I am a clever girl, and not because I was born with Spina Bifida. In my life, I dreamt, I fought, I worked, I failed and I tried again for my ideals, like everyone else.

I am not proud for having Spina Bifida but I didn't order it, so I think it's not my fault and I mustn't have to justify that all the time! Living with Spina Bifida never helped or prejudiced me in fighting for, or reaching, my goals. It was never determined for nothing.
I don't believe people who say "I have Spina Bifida and I like it!" No one likes standing in hospitals for months or walking in a wheelchair. I don't like living with Spina Bifida but I have no choice and I learnt about the best strategies to overcome some particular disabilities. There are not better or worse strategies; there are just different ways to doing the same thing!

As a psychologist, I manage the "Social and Psychological Department of ASBIHP (Association for Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus in Portugal). As a volunteer I think it's important helping others (specially disabled children and teenagers) and giving my experience not only as a technician but also as someone who really knows what they mean. In this way, I feel I am giving something I would have liked to receive when I was a child.

I have to tell you: I am not a better or a worse individual because I have Spina Bifida. I have virtues. I have defects. I have fears. I cry and I smile. I like summer and buying clothes. I hate being on diets and I hate getting up early. I want to be successful in my career and I dreamt about marrying and having four children (and taking lots of folic acid before getting pregnant). More than everything, I like living!
After everything is said and done, I am just a girl.

 

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